The journey of loss

When I look back on my life I wonder how many losses can a heart survive.  I miss the people in my life that I have had to say goodbye to way too soon.  Life goes so fast.  You think you will have unlimited time with the people you love but that comes and goes so quickly.  I try to stay focused on the good things in my life and for the most part life is good.  I feel there is so much waiting for me out there but I am stuck in trying to keep the memories that are good but not letting those same memories hold me back because they can be so painful.  I am thankful for everything I have has in my life and look forward to a bright future hopefully encountering some adventures.  Live well and don’t let the memories of your life keep you in the past.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Check out my website that helps people with the loss of loved ones.   www.togetherinloss.com

Journey On

Lynnette

As I look back,  the month of May  is filled with many emotions that elate and break my heart.  On May 18th my son Matthew, who died at 11, would have turned 26.  I can’t believe that many years have gone by because I don’t feel that old.  I think about where his life would have taken him and if he would have a family right now.  May 3rd was my mothers birthday and she died on May 29, 2000.  I miss her so much because she was such a strength for me when I was dealing with the loss of Matthew.  I still miss Cullen everyday and I an not sure what to do to fill that void.  It may take many years before I can walk past a park with children playing and not have emotions well up in my throat.  I keep wondering why this happened twice and what I will do with my life to fill the empty space that seems to consume my chest where my heart used to be.  I keep living but it feels like most days I am going through the motions and not really living.  I keep trying to find something to fill the empty space but I don’t think that will ever happen.  I keep telling my self that it will remain there for a lifetime and I need to get used to feeling it.  The pain of a loss is equal to the love you had for that person.  I feel very blessed I had both Matthew and Cullen to love even if it was only for a short time.  My life is about helping my son Mike through college.  I pray that he have peace and happiness.

Well until later. Keep that faith and remember healing will come but only with tears.

Journey On

Lynnette Bryant

“The rational mind is not capable of truly understanding this loss; only the heart has a chance to accept and transform this suffering.  For it is not the mind that has been dealt this blow, it is the heart, and it is only there that healing is possible.”  Molly Fumia-  Safe passage

 Journey On

When someone you love dies you need to figure out what will help you move forward. You will need to do what feels comfortable for you. An example of this is I don’t like to visit my sons at the cemetery. I can’t breathe when I am there it fells like I have to rescue them. Some parents I know visit their child everyday at the cemetery and that is what they need to do to heal. Each person is unique and has to do the things that make them feel healthy.  So just remember be patient and cry if the moment arises because this to will pass with time.

Journey On

This is a letter written by Jim Bryant a few days after his son Cullen passed away.

Cancer,
 Hello Again.
How are you feeling today? Me? I’m not feeling so great but please don’t drop by for a visit, you are not welcome here.
Some day the pain and misery you bestowed upon this family will pass. Many months may go by but I’ll return to my partially, jolly old self. You will always be cold and mean.
So, you thought you could take two of our children away and we would just let you off the hook. How wrong you are, you abnormal mass of malignant cells. You can destroy their bodies but you can not destroy our memory of them. You can bestow pain and suffering upon them but you can not keep them from an existence in paradise. You see cancer, today you died but another one of God’s children went home to live forever. I’m hoping Cullen has the last laugh now, just as Mathew did 12 years prior. I imagine them running with fully energized bodies as I remember they did before you showed up. I hope and pray they have long forgotten the agony you gave to them. For I believe Matthew and Cullen have the gift of eternal life while you are bound by a biological existence. I guess you actually lost Cancer, though it will take time to see that. Someday, I hope, no child or woman or man will have to worry about whether you will beat them or not.
Sincerely,
An enemy~

Keep Smiling

Jim

When I look back on my life I wonder how many losses can a heart survive.  I miss the people in my life that I have had to say goodbye to way too soon.  Life goes so fast.  You think you will have unlimited time with the people you love but that comes and goes so quickly.  I try to stay focused on the good things in my life and for the most part life is good.  I feel there is so much waiting for me out there but I am stuck in trying to keep the memories that are good but not letting those same memories hold me back because they can be so painful.  I am thankful for everything I have has in my life and look forward to a bright future hopefully encountering some adventures.  Live well and don’t let the memories of your life keep you in the past.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Check out my website that helps people with the loss of loved ones.   www.togetherinloss.com

Journey On

Lynnette

Some days I want to understand why I have lost so many people I have loved but then I need to look at the bigger picture.

 Even though I long to understand it all, I know for now I will celebrate in mere findings and have faith.

Jouney On

Lynnette

When someone you love dies you need to take time to mourn. You will need to do what feels comfortable for you.  Grief is so different for each of us and we need to do what feels right for us, even if those close to us may have there own view.  An example of this is I don’t like to visit my sons at the cemetery.  I can’t breathe when I am there, it fells like I have to rescue them.  Some parents I know visit their child everyday at the cemetery and that helps them heal.  Each person is unique and has to do the things that make them feel healthy.  When my older son died his sweatshirt hung on the chair in the corner of the kitchen for about a year.  It made me feel like he was still with us until I was able to let him go.  It is a personal choice to do what you need to until you can move on to the next place in your life.  You will be ready to move on and grow but it takes time and this again is very individualized.  If you think it is taking a long time maybe talking to a professional is something that would benefit you but it takes years not months to move forward and feel comfortable doing so.  Just remember be patient and cry if the moment arises because this to will pass with time.

Till later.

Journey On

Check out my social grief support for more information on grief : www.togetherinloss.com

When someone you love dies you need to take time to mourn. You will need to do what feels comfortable for you.  Grief is so different for each of us and we need to do what feels right for us, even if others close to us may have there own view.  An example of this is I don’t like to visit my sons at the cemetery.  I can’t breathe when I am there, it fells like I have to rescue them.  Some parents I know visit their child everyday at the cemetery and that helps them heal.  Each person is unique and has to do the things that make them feel healthy.  When my older son died his sweatshirt hung on the chair in the corner of the kitchen for about a year.  It made me feel like he was still with us until I was able to let him go.  It is a personal choice to do what you need to until you can move on to the next place in your life.  You will be ready to move on and grow but it takes time and this again is very individualized.  If you think it is taking a long time maybe talking to a professional is something that would benefit you but it takes years not months to move forward and feel comfortable doing so.  Just remember be patient and cry if the moment arises because this to will pass with time.

Till later.

Journey On

Check out my social grief support for more information on grief : www.togetherinloss.com

Happy Birthday Cullen

My little angle would have been 10 years old last week and I miss him with every ounce of my being.  I can’t believe 10 years have gone by since he was born let alone it has been almost 3 years since he has been gone.  I have tried to keep busy with the grief support group I run and the website.  I would love to read everyone’s story if you want to write it.  I love to identify with others who have lost so that I don’t feel alone in this loss.  I truly think that the loss of a loved one is not something you ever get over or through but rather an acceptance of change that last forever.  Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying summer.

Journey On

 www.togetherinloss.com

Lynnette Bryant